Melissa's Story

I walk to the bus stop, all the warmth that I consumed earlier escaping me with every breath. I missed summer more than anything, not wanting fall to come. But it had already, and there was no denying that. A whole 8 months of waiting until I can dip my feet into the clear water, and lay in the sand until the sun goes down. I was looking at colleges in Florida and Georgia. Hopefully more hot weather will do me some good. I’m just about to sit down on the cold, metal bench when my phone vibrates. I glance down, and automatically smile at the name that pops up on the screen.  

   

    Maria at 7:53 am 

Did you hear about Chloe Smith’s breakup with Matt? It was public too!

 

I rolled my eyes, but was reveling in the gossip that had entertained me for four years. I am what one calls a ‘gossiper’. Even though I hate the bad habit, I can’t seem to get out of it. I’m addicted, to say the least. 

 

    Melissa (me) at 7:55 am 

Really?  How did that happen?

 

Maria at 7:57 am 

Apparently, he was too focused on school or something. 

 

I was about to write back, when the huge bus pulled up. I get on, and pass through various rows, earning well respected smiles from faces I knew. When I reach the seat I usually sit in, I can’t help but jump back in surprise. There sat Matt Turner. THE Matt Turner. The one Maria and I were just talking about. 

 

“What the-” I didn’t have much time to recover, before I was thrown beside him, the bus already moving. Matt was beautiful in a quiet type of way. He didn’t seem like the type to date fake girls like Chloe, that’s why there was so much disbelief surrounding their 5 month relationship, (at least coming from Maria and I).  I heard that Chloe liked him way more than he liked her, but that could’ve just been a rumor. His mussed curly blonde hair tumbled over his ocean blue eyes as he glanced down at my face, causing my heart to do multiple somersaults. 

 

Woah. 

 

I quickly sit up, praying that he didn’t notice the red blush spreading across my tan cheeks. I’m about to say something, anything to break the awkward silence that ensues, when he beats me to it. 

 

“Hey aren’t you the girl who spread that rumor? The one where I was cheating on my girlfriend with Lexi Parker?” All of a sudden im paralyzed with fear. I completely forgot about that. Shame fills my body, as I look down. I hear a frustrated sigh followed by an “ok then”. I try to say something, but I can’t find the words. There is no excuse or defense I could make up to save me now. We got off the bus ten minutes later, and I had to force a smile when Maria came running up to me. The lingering feeling of disappointment fading away, for now. Walking into history class, Maria filled me in on everything. 

 

“Chloe broke up with him, and got a new friend too. Kaylie Thompson I think her name is? I saw Kaylie leave school with them yesterday” She whispered to me, looking around, making sure nobody could hear her. The name Kaylie Thompson rang a bell. I think I had a couple of classes with her before. But wasn’t she best friends with Elaine Gray, and close friends with Kasey McBrien and Brian Lewis? Something seemed off with the whole situation. I’m just about to comment on it when Mrs. Jean comes in with her huge cup of coffee. “We’ll talk about this later” I mutter to Maria as we both sit down. Brian comes in a second or two later, with a pink shirt filled with sequins and artificial sparkles. I shoot him a smile, pretending like I wasn’t talking about him or his friends a minute earlier. He returns one. 

 

    A few minutes into class, we all hear Mrs Jean’s shrill voice. “Please take out your homework from last night. If you didn’t do it, get it done by three today, and there will only be fifteen points taken off.” I silently swear knowing that I didn’t get any of it done, and it was 5 pages of writing. No way was I going to get all of it done by this afternoon. I think back to last night, trying to remember what I was doing instead. Oh yeah. I was texting Maria about what happened at the last football game, it turned out to be two hours worth of exchanging ‘interesting’ information. A lot of things go down at these types of social events. 

 

Just as I was about to raise my hand, Elaine Gray slipped into the room,  and everyone’s heads turned to look in her direction. An embarrassed smile was plastered on her stunning face. Seeing that bright smile  of hers (even if it was an embarrassed one) made me feel brighter inside. It always did. Not a lot of people could walk into school seemingly happy every morning, but she somehow does. She isn’t afraid to express herself, or her emotions, unlike most of the people at this school. That’s why she’s branded as ‘different’. It’s a shame that she is looked down upon by so many, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. She’s better than all of that, and I think she knows it. 

 

“Miss Gray where is your late pass?” Mrs Jean stares her down, but Elaine shrugs, not bothered in the least bit. She wears this look of confusion that sends everyone, including myself, into laughing fits. After the laughter dies down (thanks to Mrs. Jean threatening us with Fs) everyone works on our current project for the class. Something about writing journals from the POVs of Generals from the American Revolution. Way too boring for me, but I needed a good grade in this class. I was falling behind quickly, and the last thing I needed was for my parents to find out. I start typing, but I lose focus quickly. I couldn’t get the bus confrontation out of my head. Nobody has ever confronted me like that, and it bothered me more than I wanted to admit. Maybe I should tell Maria about it. The thought came as quickly as it left. She wouldn’t think twice about it. Maybe she’d be surprised, but she wouldn’t be bothered. Not like I am.  She wouldn’t feel the guilt or disappointment that I’ve secretly felt since that moment. 

 

When the bell finally rings about thirty minutes later, I rush out of the classroom, not bothering to see if Maria was behind me or not. She would notice something was off, and I’d have to tell her. Walking past a river of faces, I stop suddenly when I see both Kaylie and Elaine ahead of me. Kaylie was staring Elaine down with a look of disgust. As if she was better than Elaine. Oh please. I wanted to walk towards them, feeling a sudden urge to get Elaine out of the situation when all of a sudden, Chloe came out of nowhere. Not good. She hated Maria and me for the rumors we’ve spread about her, which is understandable. She was smirking, and talking to Kaylie about how ugly Elaine’s plaid shirt is. I expected Kaylie to defend Elaine, not fully believing what Maria told me earlier, but instead Kaylie nodded in agreement. My jaw dropped to the ground, and I couldn’t be more shocked. Based off of the surprise on Elaine’s pale face, I think she felt the same. Both Chloe and Kaylie were amused at her reaction. Elaine flipped them both off, and walked away. The bell rang as I checked the cheap watch on my tan wrist, and ran to my next class down the neverending hall.  

 

On the way to lunch a couple of hours later, I was talking with Brian when Maria stormed up to me. Shoot. I completely forgot I kind of ditched her earlier. She shot me a look of annoyance before acknowledging Brian with a quick nod. When we break off, Brian asks me to sit with him, and his group so we can go over the math homework. I agreed, praying that it wouldn’t hurt Maria’s feelings even more. No offense to her, but I wasn’t over what I felt from this morning. 

She tried to pull me aside, but I just told her that I was going to sit with Brian to go over the math homework together. She looked disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to talk with me, but nodded anyways. I hugged her, and ran over to Brian’s table. 

 

Elaine looked like a huge emotional mess, and honestly who could blame her? Kasey Mcbrien was trying to comfort Elaine, but she wouldn’t talk. Kasey and Brian could definitely tell something was up, but they didn’t push it. I guess I was the only one that saw what happened, but none of them knew that. I took out our four page math worksheet, and started explaining some of the concepts to Brian even though we were both clearly distracted.  

 

“I’ll tell you guys later, I’m just not up to talking about it right now.” She muttered, barely eating the salad in front of her. Kasey sent Brian and me a look. 

 

“It’s okay Lainy, just rant to us later. We can all go out for coffee after school or something.” Kasey said, trying to lighten the mood. Brian looked over to me, and asked if I wanted to tag along. I nodded without thinking. After ten minutes, I excused myself and went over to talk to Maria. She looked up, and rolled her dark brown eyes at me. 

 

“Took you long enough. Wanna come hang at my place after school, and we can talk about why you ditched me this morning? I also have some new details on that Matt and Chloe break up that I think you’d be interested in.” 

 

I was speechless for a couple of seconds, trying to figure out how I was going to tell her that I couldn’t, and that I was hanging out with Brian’s group instead. To be fully honest, I was glad for the excuse. The last thing I felt like doing was gossiping more, when I felt so guilty. But how can I even tell her that? A couple of seconds, turned into a couple of minutes. She said my name, and I was suddenly pulled back to reality. 

 

    “I can’t, but you should call me after dinner. I won’t be busy then.” I tried to smile, but It looked forced. She wasn’t having any of it. 

 

“Not to be nosey or anything, but why are you busy? Yesterday you told me you were free after school today, and tomorrow.” 

 

“Ummm. Something just came up not that long ago.” I manage to stutter out. 

    “Like what, Melissa?” 

           “I’m going to the coffee shop.” 

    “By yourself, or with other people?”

      “I'm going with Brian’s group, ok?” She was silent for a couple of minutes, staring down at her food like it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen. I knew she was upset, and rightfully so, but I didn’t know what to say. Now wasn’t the time to have a deep conversation about not wanting to do the thing we did most. She muttered a quiet “whatever” before getting up, and leaving. I walked to my next class on the other side of the school building, trying not to think about what had just happened, and how hurt Maria was. 

 

A few hours later, Elaine picked us up in the spacious parking lot, and drove us to the coffee shop less than 15 minutes away. We all made fun of Chloe, and the big halloween party she was throwing Saturday night. We all decided that we were too good for all of that, even though Kaylie wasn’t. We sat down at one of the corner tables in the busy shop, and started joking about the girl’s volleyball team, (they weren’t doing good this year). Elaine was in a better mood than before, smiling and laughing. That is until Kaylie and Chloe walked through the door, wearing trendy shirts made to be worn during the summer. Three other girls followed behind them, the same three girls that always followed behind Chloe, but I didn’t know their names. 

 

Elaine’s face fell when she noticed what Kaylie was wearing, shock and disappointment soon playing across her features. I could tell there was  a hint of judgement there, but solely because Kaylie never wears those shirts. Brian and Kasey glanced at each other, sharing a look of blatant disgust. I never paid attention to what Kaylie wore on a daily basis, but it was obvious how out of place she was in that group. Nothing seemed natural, from the way she walked, to the fake smile she wore when talking to Chloe. I always admired Brian and his friends, for always being real. For staying true to who they really are, even though not everyone likes them for it. Kaylie was always herself, especially around Elaine. Even though she didn’t enjoy the unpopularity or bullying, she never let that override her friendships, her loyalty to the people that meant the most to her. Until now. 

 

    I don’t want to leave Maria for other people. I truly want to believe that Maria and I are real friends, but I know it’s not true. It took me forever to realize that only talking bad about other people does not make up a real friendship. We do know bits and pieces about each other,  just from knowing each other for four years, but it’s not enough, and I don’t know how to tell her that. It would be asking a lot to be ‘friends’ and not gossip, to forget what we’ve been doing all this time, and it would be weird to try to move on like that.

 

    All that gossiping was not me. I came into highschool, saw people gaining ‘friends’ by gossiping, and I decided to do the same, even though the real me would never do anything like that. I was desperate for friends, because I didn’t want to be lonely. I met Maria when I heard her gossiping about Chloe one day, and that’s how we connected. Suddenly, I didn’t need 20 friends because I had Maria, but all we did was gossip. We never talked about our interests, our dislikes, what we had for homework, what teacher we hated. The gossiping took over my life in the worst way possible, and it quickly became normal. It was all I talked about, all I ever focused on. It became such a huge part of me, I never felt guilty about it, until today when I realized I messed someone’s life up just by spreading a rumor. 

 

    I was pulled out of my deep thoughts when Brian swore loudly. I looked up only to see Kaylie and Chloe glaring at us, snickering at Brian’s pink, sequined shirt. Shock filled my entire being, and I was about to speak when Elaine got up, and grabbed Kasey’s  coffee right out of her hands. Kasey stood up, reaching for Elaine’s plaid shirt, but it was too late. Elaine poured the burning hot drink on top of Kaylie’s and Chloe’s heads. There was a moment of silence, as everyone in the shop stopped what they were doing. Some girls in the corner took out their phones to record, knowing something was going to go down. A part of me remembered all the times that I’d done that, all the times I would jump to the chance to record something,  just to start drama. Not anymore. 

 

    Kaylie, drenched in the liquid, yelled “How dare you?”. I flinched, hearing the raw anger in her voice, I’ve never heard Kaylie like this.  “What makes you think you can just walk up and do that to us, when all we’ve done is leave you alone?” Elaine spoke up, her shock seeming to wear away before she was cut off. “It’s sad to think that I was ever even friends with you, I was always too good for you. You should care that nobody likes you, I know I would. Start caring, and don’t ever look or talk to me again.” She walked out of the coffee shop, Chloe following right behind her, crying about her clothes. Kasey got to Elaine first, putting her hand on Elaine’s shoulder. She shook it off.  Brian shot me a panicked look, and we both got up, walking towards her shriveled frame. She was shaking, only looking downwards at her worn-out shoes. Brain touches her arm, and she nearly trips backward at the small contact. It wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to know that something was seriously wrong with her. Her breathes became shallow pants as she backed away from us. 

  

    “Elaine?” Brain asks hesitantly. “Elaine, you’re worrying me. What’s going on?” She manages a quiet “I’m sorry” clearly directed towards the three of us, before running out of the building. We all sprint after her, only to find her car leaving the small parking lot. She was our ride back home. Brian let out a groan, just realizing this too. Before the panic sets in, he tries to calm us down. I can’t help myself when I say “What the hell was that?” 

 

Kasey shrugged. “I have no clue. I think Kaylie got to her more than we thought. I don’t blame her though, Kaylie really has changed for the worst.” I nod in agreement. 

 

    “I’m worried about the way Elaine was acting this afternoon. She would never do something like that unless she was deeply upset. Still though, she had no right to just drive off leaving us here. How are we going to get home?”  Brian said, panic reaching his uncharacteristically deep voice,. 

 

    Kasey pulled out her phone. “I think I can call Nadia, she got off work early today.” She looked over at me, “my sister can pick us up in 10 minutes.”  I was about to accept the offer, when an idea popped into my head. It probably wasn’t the best or most polite idea I’ve ever had, but I went with it. 

 

    “It’s okay, thanks though. I think I’m just going to call Maria.” They smiled, and I went off to the side of the front Building, calling her number. She picked up on the first ring, but she wasn’t overly happy with me. For a second, I felt a tad bit of regret hit me, but I pushed it down anyways. I had to get this over with. She came about ten minutes later, Kasey and Brian having already left. Once I got into her small car, she glanced at me with a look of unmasked hurt. My heart sunk, and then picked up at a rate too fast to be normal. We drove off.

 

    “How was your little coffee date? I can see you didn’t get me some.” She joked, but it was in a sarcastic and cruel tone. “It probably wasn’t too good if I’m picking you up.” She added. I shook my head, and saw her smile at the corner of my eye. When I didn’t speak up, she spoke again.

 

    “I heard stuff went down, with Elaine and Kaylie. Some people sent me a few videos, but I figured you’d fill me in. Please tell me you at least got a video.” I shook my head for the second time, and I swear she saw red. 

 

    “What the hell is wrong with you Melissa? You don’t talk to me all day, you ditch me to hang out with Brian’s group, and now you won’t even tell me what happened?” 

She slammed on her break when we came to a stoplight. 

 

    “I’m sorry Maria. I shouldn’t have treated you like that, but I just wanted to avoid telling you what I’ve come to realize.” I looked out the window, wanting to avoid her gaze. 

 

“And what’s that Melissa? What realization have you come to?” She yells.
   

“We should stop gossiping, for good. I know that’s all we do, but it’s not healthy. We’re screwing up people’s lives without even realizing it. Our friendship is made up of that toxic stuff. We never talk about how our days went, or how much homework we have. We don’t talk about things friends normally would. All we talk about is other people, and their drama” There was a moment of heavy silence as the words hit her like a truck. She blinked over and over again, seemingly at a loss for words. 

 

“I’m willing to try that with you, Maria, but I’m afraid it might be too late for that.” I muttered, unable to look at her. She was still driving, about 5 minutes away from my house. Forever passed, and I jumped at the sound of her shaky voice. It was full of sadness. She glanced over at me, understanding, playing across her face. 

 

“I don’t know what to feel, Melissa. I really don’t. I wish you would’ve said that three years ago, so we could’ve just moved on with our lives, and found other people. I probably would’ve continued to gossip, and you would’ve stopped. I’ve always known what we had wasn’t real, but how could I just walk away? How could I when I would be doing the same thing, just with other people? Maybe you could’ve if you had realized sooner, but you didn’t. I wasn’t going to tell you to stop being friends with me, when you seemed to not mind gossiping. You loved it” She took a deep breath, pulling onto my road. “Even though we went through so much together, I can’t be what you want me to be. I’m in too deep, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to stop. If I’ll ever be able to stop. It’s not too late for you though, I know it’s not.” She stopped the car in my driveway,  and tried to offer a small smile, but failed. I knew this was goodbye, and even though it hurt, I knew we were doing the right thing. It was something we should’ve done forever ago, but didn’t. She pulled out of the driveway, as I walked into my empty house. The second I closed the bedroom door, it hit me. 

 

The pain, the emotions, the memories. Everything we went through for the past three years played out in my mind like a movie. The first time I met her. The times we spent laughing together. Late nights on the phone, talking about people. Creating our online blog. Riding around in her small, beat up car. I drag myself to the bathroom, and glance at the wide mirror. My dark red hair is tangled up in curls, mascara dripping down my tan face. My hazel eyes are full of tears waiting to be released all over again. I knew this pain would go away eventually, and I looked forward to the day it did. 

 

I walk onto the bus, glancing at my phone. Brian had texted me multiple times, saying that Elaine hasn’t called. Even though I had my own problems to deal with, I was still just as worried for Elaine, and her well being. I walk down the aisle, and am about to call Brian, when I see Matt Turner again, sitting in my seat alone. I sit down next to him, gathering all of my strength, and in return, he stands up to move. I touch his arm briefly, and tell him to stay. He looks at me like I’m crazy, but decides to sit back down when the bus starts moving. 

 

“I don’t know why I didn’t say this to you yesterday, but I’m sorry for spreading all of those lies about you and Chloe.” I said, trying to maintain eye contact with him. He looks at me after a few minutes of silence, and smiles wide. I was going to have a heart attack right there. I hope he doesn’t notice how red my face is. 

 

“Thanks. I mean I don’t really know you that well, but I appreciate it. I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into by dating her. I guess it was stupid to assume there was going to be no drama” He laughs to himself, and I nod, still flushing. After talking for ten minutes, the bus pulls up to school. 

 

He smiles, once again, and hands me a slip of paper with his number written on it, just in case I ever wanted to ‘talk’. I practically jumped off the school bus, happier than I’ve been in three days, that is until I remembered Maria was no longer there to greet me, and Elaine still wasn’t talking to anyone. I didn’t want to ‘force my way’ into Brian’s friend group, but I don’t think they’ll mind If I hang out with them. I saw Brian, and Kasey waiting in the Lobby.  I said hi, to both of them, as all three of us shared looks of concern. The first bell rang out, and as if on cue, Elaine walked through the double doors. 

 

She looked like a tornado hit her. Her red hair is tangled into a messy bun, she’s wearing yesterday’s clothes, and the bags under her eyes are huge. I wince, and look away. I’ve never seen a person so torn down. Kasey, and I walk to our first class knowing Brian would handle Elaine. In fact, I could hear his angry voice from the spot we left. As I pass people, I hear whispers of what happened at the Coffee shop. Everyone is talking about it, even Maria. She’s farther down the hall, but I can see her showing the famous video to a group of girls. She’s laughing with them, and It takes everything in me to ignore it. I would not concern myself with her any longer. 

 

Less than an hour after school ends, Kasey and I go over to Brian’s. He’s in the middle of ranting about how horrible his day was, when there’s a loud knock on the door. Hesitantly, Elaine comes in looking guilty, and sorry. Brian’s about to say something, anger written all over his face, when Elaine speaks first. 

 

“Before all of you scream at me, I just wanted to come here and apologise for all the hurt I've caused all of you this past day. I lost myself, and was able to find myself again. I really don’t deserve you guys, especially after I left the shop. I understand if you guys are still mad, but please, accept this apology.” A brief moment passes by, before Brian and Kasey crush Elaine in a hug. Brian exclaims “We knew you’d come around!”

with Kasey adding You should confront Kaylie though”. I could tell Elaine was trying hard not to cry as she hugged them back. After they were done, Elaine came over to hug me, and I smiled in surprise. She gave me a wink, before saying “Welcome to the group.” 

 

It’s three days later, and all four of us are at lunch talking. Elaine finally decided to confront Kaylie this morning, and end their friendship for good. She couldn’t be more happy and alive, and I can’t help but feel similarly. I glance at Maria across the spacious cafeteria, and find her sitting with her new group of friends she picked up from a Halloween party Saturday night. Good for her. I’m lost in thought when Brian laughs at my zoned-out expression, Kasey and Elaine following suit. I roll my eyes at them, smiling at my new friends.